A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!'
Moral - When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT !
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Pakistani Management
The Race
Once There was a Pakistani rowing team
Of course the Pakistani team had 7 captains but only one rower.
Facing such critical scenario the management showed an unexpected wisdom:
The bired the consulting company to restructure the Pakistani team. the project was awarded to the top Project Managers.
Next year the Japanese won by 2 Miles.
The Pakistani Team immediately dismissed the rower from the team based on his unsatisfactory performance.
Once There was a Pakistani rowing team
Pakistan and Japan agreed to do an annual rowing race. Each team should contain 8 men.
both teams worked really hard to get in the best shape. The day the race started both teams were in similar condition. The Japanese won by 1 mile.
The mood in the Pakistani Team was really close to the freeze point. The top management decided to win the race next year. So the established a team of analysts to observe the situation and recommend an appropriate solution.
After several detailed analysis the team found out that Japanese had 7 rowers and only one captain
.
.Of course the Pakistani team had 7 captains but only one rower.
Facing such critical scenario the management showed an unexpected wisdom:
The bired the consulting company to restructure the Pakistani team. the project was awarded to the top Project Managers.
After several months the consultants come up with the conclusion that there were too many captains and a too fee rowers in the Pakistan team. A solution was proposed based on this analysis: The structure of the Pakistani team has to be changed!
As of today there will be only 4 captains in the team, led by 2 managers, one project manager and one rower. Besides that, they suggested to improve the rower's working environment and to give him higher competencies.
As of today there will be only 4 captains in the team, led by 2 managers, one project manager and one rower. Besides that, they suggested to improve the rower's working environment and to give him higher competencies.
Next year the Japanese won by 2 Miles.
The Pakistani Team immediately dismissed the rower from the team based on his unsatisfactory performance.
But the bonus award was paid to the management for the strong motivation the team showed during the preparation phase.
The consulting company prepared a new analysis, which showed that the strategy was good. the motivation was O.K. but the used tool has to be improved.
Currently the Pakistani Team is also designing a new boat and planning to send their top management to abroad for 6 months coordination/recreation visit, so that they are fresh to laed the team next year.
Currently the Pakistani Team is also designing a new boat and planning to send their top management to abroad for 6 months coordination/recreation visit, so that they are fresh to laed the team next year.
SINGH IS KING!!!!!???
Interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked to sardar at an interview. Can you spell a word that has more than 15 letters in it? Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner? Wife: No! Why? Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village??? Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Interviewer: just imagine you are in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Manager asked to sardar at an interview. Can you spell a word that has more than 15 letters in it? Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner? Wife: No! Why? Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village??? Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Interviewer: just imagine you are in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Electronic and New Way of Begging called "Bheek"
Email Subject: Thanks for help me in this holy month
Dear Brothers & Sisters
Asalam O Alaikum
Thank you very much for your read my emails. Once again Thanks for my all brother's & Sister's help me last year, I request for my all brother and sisters please help me in this year every ones know its too much expenses every single day my husband treatment and my kinds education and I can't manage all things so I request all brother and sister please help me and give me this year zakaat
I know my all brother's & sisters help me in this holy months of Ramadan al mubarak
Here is my husband account information
Aijaz A/C 0000-13129-3
HBL, Elphinson Street Branch, Saddar Karachi Pakistan
Dua Karte hoon ki Allah Sab ko Naik Hidayaat de ( Ameen Summa Ameen)
Thank you very much for your love & support Your Sister
Ghazala Ahmed
I never knew him and never received any email before this email. This is new way of begging in my opinion. If this is genion may Allah Forgive me.
Please comment
Interesting Jokes
sardar g!!!!!!!!!! sardar pilot ka headphone cheen raha tha ,pilot:ye kya kar rahay ho? jahaz uranay do,sardar:kiun ticket hum khareedain aur ganay tu akaila sunay...........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------misundestandingaik admi darya main dhob raha tha us ne dua mangi k ay ALLAH agar main bach gia to chawal ki degh pakwa k kherat karon ga...achanak aik lehar ai r use utha k bahar phenk dia ...kapray jharr k bola hoon kon si degh phir lehar ne use utha k andar phenk dia chilla k bola ALLAH MIAN APP TO NARAZ HO GAY MAIN NE TO POCHA KON SI MEETHE YA NAMKEEN
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Sardar G2Ek sardar g 25th manzil pe tashreef rakhte the k ek aur sardar g aye aur chillaye k O JASWANT SINGH teri kurri ne khid kushi kar liti. Pahle sardar ne ye sunte hi 25th manzil se chalang laga di..... jab wo 15th manzil tak puhncha to chillaya oye meri to shadi nai hoi 10th pe bola oye yar shadi nai hoi to kurri kithon ayi 5th pe bole ohoooo yar mera nam to JASWANT SINGH hai hi nai.....
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Sardar G 3A Sardar got the degree of an Electrical Engineer In an Interview of Job he was asked: How does an Electric Motor work?? Sardar replied: Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------misundestandingaik admi darya main dhob raha tha us ne dua mangi k ay ALLAH agar main bach gia to chawal ki degh pakwa k kherat karon ga...achanak aik lehar ai r use utha k bahar phenk dia ...kapray jharr k bola hoon kon si degh phir lehar ne use utha k andar phenk dia chilla k bola ALLAH MIAN APP TO NARAZ HO GAY MAIN NE TO POCHA KON SI MEETHE YA NAMKEEN
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Sardar G2Ek sardar g 25th manzil pe tashreef rakhte the k ek aur sardar g aye aur chillaye k O JASWANT SINGH teri kurri ne khid kushi kar liti. Pahle sardar ne ye sunte hi 25th manzil se chalang laga di..... jab wo 15th manzil tak puhncha to chillaya oye meri to shadi nai hoi 10th pe bola oye yar shadi nai hoi to kurri kithon ayi 5th pe bole ohoooo yar mera nam to JASWANT SINGH hai hi nai.....
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Sardar G 3A Sardar got the degree of an Electrical Engineer In an Interview of Job he was asked: How does an Electric Motor work?? Sardar replied: Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........
A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU
Which way is the bus below traveling?
To the left or to the right?
Can't make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.
Still don't know?
Primary school children all over the UAE were shown this picture and asked the same question.
90% of them gave this answer:
'The bus is traveling to the Left.'
When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the Left?'
They answered:
'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'
How do you feel now???
I know, me too.
Connect to the next generation of MSN Messenger Get it now!
To the left or to the right?
Can't make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.
Still don't know?
Primary school children all over the UAE were shown this picture and asked the same question.
90% of them gave this answer:
'The bus is traveling to the Left.'
When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the Left?'
They answered:
'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'
How do you feel now???
I know, me too.
Connect to the next generation of MSN Messenger Get it now!